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This "blog" or "webblog" or "internetwebblog" or "interwebblognetwebblog" will feature the thoughts and observations of Late Show writers Eric Stangel, Justin Stangel, Bill Scheft, Steve Young, Matt Roberts, Tom Ruprecht, Jeremy Weiner, Lee Ellenberg, Joe Grossman and Bob Borden regarding the current writers strike.

There is a lot at stake with this strike and these are serious issues. The Late Show writers are on the picket lines every day they are scheduled. We are not making light of this situation. One way to get people to pay attention to the strike and its issues is through humor.
Best,
THE LATE SHOW WRITERS

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Saturday, December 29, 2007

Also...

The strike is not over...

The LateShowWritersOnStrike.com strike blog will continue...

12:17 pm est

Friday, December 28, 2007

Confirmation

In response to the hundreds of emails we have received about this-

There has been one website we have all turned to for strike news as it happens.  

Yes, the story on the South Asian Women's Forum of India is true-

http://news.sawf.org/Entertainment/46615.aspx

Worldwide Pants HAS reached an interim agreement with the WGA and the Late Show will resume with writers on Wednesday January 2nd.

SAWF- you scooped everyone again!! 

-Eric Stangel/Justin Stangel 

7:22 pm est

Statement
"We are happy that the WGA and Worldwide Pants were able to reach an agreement. We will continue to support our fellow writers who are on strike."- Eric Stangel

"The writers can't wait to get back to writing for Dave, and you better believe we're going to bring attention to the strike as long as it lasts."- Justin Stangel
7:04 pm est

As reported by AP....

Letterman's Show Returning With Writers
By FRAZIER MOORE –    

(AP) "Late Show with David Letterman" and "Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" will be back with their writers airing joke-filled new hours starting Wednesday, the shows' production company, Worldwide Pants, announced Friday.

An interim agreement between the Letterman-owned company and the Writers Guild of America will allow the full writing staffs for both shows to return to work, even as the Hollywood writers strike continues to shutter much TV and movie production. Both of those CBS late-night shows have been airing reruns since the strike began eight weeks ago. 

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5imX3S9sCg1mpeXM8jlfO1L68JWhgD8TQOGRG0 

7:01 pm est

TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST

BY ERIC STANGEL

People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?"

The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog. 

Meanwhile to tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do.

Top Ten Bridal Jewelry & Wedding Party Gifts

10. Swiss Army Knife 

9. Money Clips 

8. Cufflinks

7. Stylish Mens Bracelets

6. Whimsical Themed Necklaces

5. Diamond Stud Earrings ~ An absolute necessity for any woman’s wardrobe, the bigger the better.

4. Pearl Stud Earrings 

3. Vintage Diamond Bracelet

2. Single Pearl Pendant

AND THE NUMBER ONE BRIDAL JEWELERY & WEDDING PARTY GIFT....

1. Pearl Strand Necklace

FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO

http://www.jrdunnblog.com/2007/09/20/top-ten-bridal-jewelry-wedding-party-gifts/ 

11:38 pm est

Thursday, December 27, 2007

MY PLEDGE
BY LEE ELLENBERG

I have pledged since the beginning of the strike to not shave until the AMPTP agrees to our demands.  After seven weeks, here is a recent photo of myself:
webassets/lee.jpeg
(Because my family lived near an industrial adhesive plant when I was growing up, my facial hair grows very slowly.)
2:56 pm est

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The De-icing of Joe Grossman
4:51 pm est

BILL SCHEFT'S STRIKE-RELATED DAVE-TYPE MONOLOGUE JOKE OF THE DAY:

Last week, the Writers Guild voted to not grant a waiver to this year's Academy Awards. And executives at ABC are worried that without all that carefully scripted material, the show will be forced to cut back from four hours to three hours, 53 minutes.

-BILL SCHEFT 

4:45 pm est

Odd Christmas Card

BY ERIC STANGEL 

I don't know what to make of this. I was going through my mail and received a Christmas card that I think might be in the wrong spirit of the holidays. See for yourself...

webassets/xmascard2.jpg

11:22 pm est

Monday, December 24, 2007

Tradition

BY ERIC STANGEL 

Each year on the big Late Show Christmas show Darlene Love sings a wonderful inspired rendition of "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"

There is no show this year and many people have written the LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com site to voice their disappointment. Well, we can't give you Darlene Love, but go ahead and gather the family for the next best thing- the musical arrangement for "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)"

Enjoy it and Merry Christmas to all


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9:10 pm est

CHRISTMAS TIME
BY JUSTIN STANGEL

It's Christmas, a time where we appreciate what we have. I am very grateful for my two children and my wife. Though this strike is a difficult thing to endure, it is not the end of the world. That is an important thing to remember. Also, members of the AMPTP better hope they never meet me in person. If they do, they will get a beating they will not soon forget. How could they not simply negotiate, and give everyone what they deserve. How could they be happy that Hollywood is experiencing all of this during Christmas? They are bullies. In school I would beat the crap out of the bullies. You guys think you're tough? Meet me in person and show me how tough you are. I'll beat one and make the others watch- so you know what to expect. I can handle all of you. I'll do some Jackie Chan shit and teach you motherfuckers some respect.

When this gets resolved, don't think I'm going to forget. I hold a grudge. You all not only made the list- you are the list. Five years down the road- ten years- don't mean nothing to me. At the Gap- at TCBY-  you have no idea when it's coming but know one thing- It's coming. Merry Christmas assholes
10:15 am est

Sunday, December 23, 2007

FAILED BLOG ENTRY
BY JEREMY WEINER
 
Moments ago, I deleted a Christmas-themed entry I’d written for this blog.  Why?  Frankly, it wasn’t that great.  I think this brief excerpt helps illustrate my point:

“Nine Belzers belzing”
 
Yeah, it was that bad.  I promise to do better next time.
9:30 am est

BILL SCHEFT'S STRIKE-RELATED DAVE-TYPE MONOLOGUE JOKE OF THE DAY:

If the writers strike continues much longer, viewers will be left hanging over the fate of their favorite television programs. Speaking of which, I have a question about the hit show Lost: How come The Professor can make a radio out of two coconut shells and a belt buckle, but he can't build a raft to get them off the damn island?

-Bill Scheft 

11:19 pm est

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Farewells

BY ERIC STANGEL 

As the year draws to a close, let's say a final goodbye to the WGA members who have died during the writers strike.

DON WILLIAMS: WRITER "MONK"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY

JIMMY PENSIK: WRITER "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY

RITA WETCH: WRITER "CANE"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY

BOB BROCKLING: WRITER "HOUSE"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY

WENDELL PARK: WRITER "SCRUBS"- FELL ON OWN PICKET SIGN

LINDA QUALLS: WRITER "DAYS OF OUR LIVES"- ATE BAD SHRIMP SALAD SANDWICH ON THE PICKET LINE... BUT WAS IT MURDER???!!!!

RON CHIFTON: WRITER "THE OFFICE"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY

LARRY CHIFTON: WRITER "THE OFFICE"- RUN OVER BY CARSON DALY

SAM BONNER: WRITER "GRANDPA'S HOUSE"- HEART ATTACK AFTER LEARNING THE SHOW HE HAD BEEN WRITING FOR SINCE 2001 HAD NEVER AIRED ANYWHERE 

MARCOS PINA: WRITER "NUMB3RS"- MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED AFTER TELLING AMPTP PRESIDENT NICK COUNTER TO "GO FU3K HIMSELF"

8:17 pm est

TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST...

BY ERIC STANGEL

People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?"

The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog. 

Meanwhile to tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do.

  

TOP 10 REASONS TO JOIN THE SALES TEAM AT EXPLORICA EDUCATIONAL TRAVEL:

10. You are so passionate about educational travel that you dream of a job that requires a passport. 

9. Your dry-cleaning bill is bankrupting you and you'd love to work in a casual dress environment. 

8. You have 1-2 years of work experience and are ready to work for a company where you truly believe in your product.

7. You have traveled, lived or studied abroad and it was the best experience of your life.

6. You have a tremendous respect for teachers and would enjoy calling them to discuss educational travel options.

5. You want to work in a fun environment with aggressive goals and room for growth.

4. You are intelligent, personable, and educated and sound like it on the phone.

3. You want to be able to walk out your door and have Boston's museums, theatres, shopping, clubs and food of every ethnicity at your fingertips (and you also want the convenience of having a McDonalds in the building in case it's really cold outside!).

2. You know where the Champs-Elysees is, what it is, and how to pronounce it. 

1. You believe that if everyone had the opportunity to travel abroad, the world would be a better place.

for more information see explorica.com

11:43 pm est

LEE ELLENBERG'S FLASH POLL
Um, yeah, just taking an informal poll here.  Who has a date with a hot actress from a popular medical drama, which airs on Fox, Tuesdays at 9/8c, this Saturday night?

Oh, I guess just me.  Hmm, ain't that a kick in the head?

See you on the red carpet, assholes.
11:02 pm est

Friday, December 21, 2007

WGA STRIKE CRAFT-OF-THE-DAY #2

BY JEREMY WEINER
 
Here’s a craft that’s both fun for the holidays and a great way to help explain the WGA strike to little ones.
 
GINGERBREAD NETWORK HEADQUARTERS
 
SUPPLIES NEEDED:
- 1 pre-cut gingerbread house frame or 6 pieces of gingerbread, cut into rectangles
- 2 large tubes of vanilla icing
- assorted candy [gum drops, sweet tarts, gum balls, jelly beans, etc.]

webassets/house_1.jpg  
INSTRUCTIONS:
 1. Arrange the gingerbread to form the shape of the network headquarters of your choice - 4 pieces for the sides, 2 pieces for the roof.

 2.  Squeeze a small amount of icing along each seam to hold the gingerbread pieces in place.  Wait 15 minutes to allow the icing to harden.
 webassets/house_3.jpg
 3.  Use the remaining icing to create designs on the sides and roof of the structure.

 4.  Before the icing hardens, decorate it with the candy of your choice.
 
 5.  Use your favorite adorable action figures to create a WGA picket line.
 webassets/house_4.jpg
 
Happy Holidays from LateShowWritersOnStrike.com!
 
Please note: LateShowWritersOnStrike.com is not responsible for injuries sustained by individuals attempting the WGA Strike Craft-of-the-Day.

5:52 pm est

Clarification
EDITOR'S NOTE: The actual phrase Lee said that caused Edie Falco to give him the skunk-eye was, "hot monkey sex."
12:33 pm est

Picket Line Highlights Of The Week

BY BOB BORDEN


Monday we picketed in front of the Time Warner Center but it was SO cold, I can't remember what happened.  Well, let me try...  Jeremy said something funny, Steve Martin was there.  Oooooh...So was John Sayles!  Oh my goodness, have you ever seen "The Brother From Another Planet?"  SO good!  I gave the DVD to the other writers (Some writers got that DVD, others got "Dirty Mary Crazy Larry") as my holiday gift.  I wanted to talk to him but he was speaking to other people the whole time.  Such is life.  Speaking of buying DVDs for the writers; WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!  I HAVE NO MONEY COMING IN!  Last week, the Christmas spirit got a hold of me and my wallet hasn't been the same.  I've joked around in the past about getting a job but now the joke is over.  I'm getting closer.

Tuesday we were picketing at Thomas Paine Park in Foley Square.  Where's that?  I'm still not 100% sure and I'm still not 100% sure why we were there.  Anyway, I was walking with Lee and Joe.  Lee was telling a story that required the use of some salty language.  Edie Falco, who was picketing in front of us, turned around and gave Lee the skunk eye!  It was very funny!  Because of the cold weather (I think), the WGA has reduced picketing from 4 hours to two hours.  I have to say, it still feels like four hours.  OK, let's end this entry with a couple of quotes from the Late Show Writers:

"Hey, what the hell's this car doing in the middle of the park?!" -- Lee Ellenberg

webassets/leecar.jpg

"I used to do jury duty down here." -- Joe Grossman
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If we don't picket again this year (and I pray we don't), HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

11:22 pm est

Thursday, December 20, 2007

A Ray Of Hope For The Future

BY STEVE YOUNG 

Negotiation newsflash: although the current contract negotiations between the WGA and the AMPTP remain broken off, today the WGA offered a gesture of good faith.  The Writers Guild has agreed to “early negotiations” for the 2029 contract which expires in mid-October of that year.
 
Negotiations are scheduled to begin in April 2029.

5:54 pm est

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Check in time!

Once again, let's check in with Late Show Writers Assistant Jill Goodwin to see what's going on over at the Late Show offices-

webassets/GeorgeInternatDesk001.jpg

I'm told Jill is going over inventory in the supply room. I don't know who that guy is. But someone please find something for him to do.

9:42 am est

BY BILL SCHEFT

Monday was "Daytime United Day" on the picket line in front of the Time-Warner Center. Our union brethren from SAG/AFTRA who perform on all of your favorite daytime dramas marched side-by-side with us. It was so humbling, so moving, so deeply emotion that we can never ---
 
All right, damnit. I admit it. Joe Grossman -- I'm your father!
 
That's why I had to leave the Late Show in 2004 when you got hired, and before that, in 1997, when I happen to see your name on the list for intern interviews. I know I told people both times that I left to "finish a novel." Sometimes when we run, we run on a path cleared by lies. If you think seeing you walk the picket line the last seven weeks has been easy, think again. Watching you scurry after the last morsel of free pizza day after day only reminds me of how I was not able to provide for you growing up wherever the hell you grew up.
 
I know this is a lot to digest, so I will stop now. In the parlance of our mutual labor struggle, consider this an offer on the table. Don't be like the AMPTP and quit the talks.
 
I hate myself.
 
Bill Scheft (nee Phil Grossman)

11:57 pm est

Monday, December 17, 2007

TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST...

BY ERIC STANGEL 

People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?"

The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog. 

Meanwhile to tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do.

FROM THE TEXAS DEPARTMENT OF INSURANCE FRAUD

Top Ten Insurance Fraud Cases - Fiscal Year 2007 

10. Larry Crenshaw was a licensed agent that schemed 14 (14 known victims) of his insurance clients to cash in insurance products/annuities and invest over $201,000.00 of their money with him.   He promised a good return on the investment over a very short period of time, frequently telling his clients that they would recoup their investment, plus whatever percentage interest he had promised them within 12 months.  Several of his victims were elderly and they had been his client for many years.  Crenshaw spent all of the money on himself and then when the victims began asking questions about their investments he disappeared.   Crenshaw was sentenced in Dallas to 2 years in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice and ordered to pay restitution to the victims as a condition of any possible parole.
 
9. Samuel Corey Current, a former insurance agent, schemed to defraud a life insurance company by submitting 280 fraudulent life insurance applications.  His scheme netted him $40,358.26 in advance commissions before being caught.  Current was sentenced in Austin to 10 years probation, ordered to pay restitution in the amount of $38,978.26 and required to surrender his insurance license to the Texas Department of Insurance.
 
8. Ira Klein, a former doctor from Houston, developed several schemes to defraud health insurers, including billing for services not rendered, unbundling pharmaceutical drugs and selling them at a substantial profit and up-coding.  Klein was convicted in federal court on 44 counts of mail fraud and sentenced to serve 135 months in prison for his part in defrauding health insurers of more than $10 million dollars.   Prior to his Texas court appearance, Klien was arrested in Florida for setting fire to a $3.2 million dollar house he purchased for his wife.  Then while awaiting trial in a Texas jail, Klein attempted to execute a murder-for-hire plot against the federal prosecutor, FBI agent and wife number six.  It was unfortunate for Klein who lost another $250,000 after the government forfeited the money he wired to pay for the murder-for-hire plot.   Authorities also seized in excess of $10 million of Klein’s assets; those funds will be used to offset the court ordered restitution of $11 million dollars.
 
7. Amanda Goodfellow had previously been successful in submitting a fraudulent burglary insurance claim to her insurer and decided to try it a second time.  Goodfellow netted more than $30,000.00 from her fraudulent homeowner claims.   False receipts and altered police reports were produced to the insurer in support of the claims.   The scheme eventually caught up with her.   Amanda Goodfellow was convicted in Dallas and sentenced to 4 years in the Texas Department of Corrections, in addition to a $2,000.00 fine.
 
6. Lloyd Jason Edwards was a licensed agent who schemed to inflate a legitimate property damage claim and subsequently got caught.  He was convicted in Rockwall County for the felony offense of insurance fraud and sentenced to 24 months deferred adjudication, forfeit his insurance license, pay restitution in the amount of $2,710.62 and fined $2,000.00.
 
5. Ashley McCoy believed she pulled one over on her insurer after filing a false burglary claim for jewelry in the amount of $149,682.  Instead, the homeowner was convicted in Collin County for the felony offense of insurance fraud, given 10 years probation and ordered to pay restitution to the insurer in the amount of $151,587.17, inclusive of the insurance company’s investigative expense.
 
4. A San Antonio mother and daughter schemed to defraud several hundred people into believing they had automobile insurance when they had none.   Operating from two locations in San Antonio, former insurance agent Valerie Fuentes and her daughter collected thousands of dollars from unsuspecting insurance customers.  Fuentes pled no contest in a San Antonio court to the third degree felony offense of theft, was sentenced to 7 years in the Texas Department of Corrections and ordered to pay restitution in the amount of $78,785.22.
 
3. James M. Stabler, a Texas lawyer was found guilty in Dallas County District Court on 3rd degree felony theft charges.  Mr. Stabler schemed to defraud an insurance company out of $63,769.17 by signing his deceased mother's name to the back of her monthly annuity benefit checks for more than three years after her death.  Stabler cashed the checks and kept the money for himself.  During his trial, he advised the court that his mother told him he could cash the annuity checks after her death and use the money for his children's college education.  Testimony during his trial also revealed that he personally probated his mother's estate and knew her monthly annuity benefits ended at her death.  Additionally, the insurer printed a statement on the back of the check “payable to the named payee only if living”.   The court sentenced him to 5 years probation, 160 hours community service and ordered him to pay restitution in the amount of $65,696.40 to the insurance company.
 
2. Christopher Arevalo made a report to his insurance company and the police that someone stole his automobile.  The insurance company paid his claim and the matter was closed until the police later apprehended an individual while operating the stolen vehicle who reported that Arevalo traded the car for drugs, producing a written receipt to support the transaction.   Arevalo pled guilty to insurance fraud charges in Eastland Texas and was sentenced to 18 months in jail and ordered to pay the insurance company restitution in the amount of $11,004.57.

AND THE NUMBER ONE INSURANCE FRAUD CASE- FISCAL YEAR 2007

1. Vinny Bilotto schemed to fraudulently purchase life insurance on several San Antonio area homeless men, named himself as beneficiary and then received the policy proceeds after the insured’s turned up deceased.  Bilotto was found guilty of mail fraud and sentenced to 15 months in a federal prison and ordered to pay $504,685.43 restitution to insurers. 

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT

http://www.tdi.state.tx.us/fraud/fy2007topten.html 

1:37 pm est

CHANGES AT THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER
BY JOE GROSSMAN

Everyone at the Late Show is hoping to get back to work as soon as possible.
Unfortunately, in the six weeks since we went off the air, it looks like there
have been some changes that might hinder our return.

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11:01 am est

A Silver Lining
BY STEVE YOUNG
 
Last Thursday’s picketing outside Viacom was cold and wet.  Yet morale remained high throughout.  Why?  Many picketers enjoyed seeing one of the largest pretend monocles in the tri-state area:
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Mr. Peanut, you and your faux corrective lens gave us just the boost we needed. 
11:58 pm est

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Holiday Cheer
BY STEVE YOUNG
  
On December 12th, the Writers Guild of America, East held its annual Holiday Party at the Friar’s Club here in New York City.  It was a crowded and convivial event, with hundreds of writers enjoying the chance to eat, drink, and chat with new picket line friends indoors for a change.
 
Last night out in Hollywood the AMPTP held its own holiday party.  A high-ranking AMPTP source gave me this report (okay, my dad is Sumner Redstone, cut me some slack, all right?)  It sure sounds festive:
 
--There was a magnificent Christmas tree decorated with two dozen shimmering DVD’s, meaning that at 4 cents per DVD, some lucky screenwriter might eventually get 96 cents.
 
--The AMPTP served its “New Economic Partnership Punch”.  It was advertised as sweet and potent, but it turned out there was nothing in it.
 
--Partygoers were greeted by Santa Claus (Nick Counter), who vowed to roll back the compensation and benefits currently earned by his workshop elves.
 
--A few striking writers made some much-needed cash by valet parking attendees’ Bentleys, Lamborghinis, and Rolls-Royces.
 
--At the end of the evening, the catering staff was told they would not be paid as their work was “promotional.”
 
Let’s hope this magical holiday spirit can carry over into the negotiations!  God bless us every one!
10:46 pm est

Update....
BY TOM RUPRECHT

In baseball when a team's not winning, they fire the manager. Well, first they take steroids and if that doesn't work, then they fire the manager.

Well, the "Late Show" writers have a Strike Captain—Bill Scheft. Six weeks in and the strike still hasn't ended. So obviously Scheft's way isn't working.

That's why I'm truly humbled to announce that my fellow writers have elected me, no not elected, they have ordained me STRIKE CZAR.

The coronation occurred early this morning at St. Patrick's cathedral.

FYI: This week I will be conducting a bloody purge to eliminate the writers that I feel are loyal to Bill. So if you have anything you've always wanted to say to Steve, Justin, Eric, Lee, Joe or Bob- time's a wastin'!
12:18 am est

IN DEFENSE OF AIELLO

BY JEREMY WEINER

Yesterday, on this website, my colleague, Lee Ellenberg, made the following statement: “Danny Aiello always struck me as kind of an asshole.”

Now, I have a great deal of respect for Lee, but I found his statement to be shocking and, frankly, unfair.

So, I spent the bulk of my day yesterday immersed in all things Aiello.  My goal? To come to the defense one of our finest living actors and prove Lee wrong.

I revisited a number of classic Aiello performances, including the roles of Tommy Five-Tone in Hudson Hawk, Randy Powers in Blood Feud and Johnson in Chu Chu and the Philly Flash.

I exchanged text messages with Danny’s Dellaventura co-star, Byron Keith Minns.  I also had lunch at Arby’s with his nephew, Yankee broadcaster Michael Kay.

I even joined the dannyaiello.com mailing list and purchased Danny’s album, I Just Want to Hear the Words, on iTunes.

After all that, I arrived at the following conclusion:

Lee’s 100% right.  Danny Aiello does seem like an asshole.

12:13 am est

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Looking Great In 2008!

BY STEVE YOUNG

 

The end of 2007 is fast approaching, and that means everyone’s looking for a fun new calendar for 2008.  Just in time, the WGA has released the 2008 Striking Writers Calendar!

 

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Whether the strike is settled or not, this handsome wall calendar will see you through 2008 in style!  Each month has a photo of a different striking writer in a seductive pose.  Here at lateshowwritersonstrike.com, we’re thrilled that July features our own Joe Grossman!

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Look for the 2008 Striking Writers Calendar wherever labor movement wall calendars are sold.

12:51 am est

Free Time

BY MATT ROBERTS

A striking laborer has a great deal of free time – ‘free’ in the truest sense, being unpaid – to engage in other activities.

Reflecting on the last six weeks, though, I’m surprised to find that I haven’t achieved many of the goals I always thought I’d pursue if given the chance, say, taking guitar lessons, learning CPR, or making my own soap.


Of course – sadly, due to the strike – there’s still an opportunity.


What I’ve discovered, though, is that even if somehow I were able to never work again, to never sleep again, and to live for all eternity on Earth, there are certain things I still wouldn’t have time for, specifically:


Making my bed

Dusting

Flossing

Continuing to hold

Christmas-themed motion picture comedies

Taking ‘a quick survey’

Replying to e-mail from people I don’t like

Eat, Pray, Love

Speculating on Britney’s ‘medical condition’

Locating the exit nearest me, which may be behind me                                            

Radio ‘morning zoos’

Reading a software agreement before agreeing to it

TV’s “Extra”

and the music of Il Divo


On a brighter note, I have had time to replace the batteries in my smoke and carbon monoxide detector.                    


Why not add that painless chore to your list of annual holiday traditions?  It could save a life!


This message brought to you by the International Association of Fire Chiefs.

12:19 am est

Thursday, December 13, 2007

DAY 39: SNOW, SLEET AND RAIN AT VIACOM

BY ERIC STANGEL 

Today was a miserable weather day- in the 30s with snow sleet and rain, but the numbers were the highest of the week. 

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Many "future WGA members" came out to support the cause. We also got a visit from the Late Show's own Biff Henderson

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It's so cold I was wearing a scarf Biff brought back for me years ago from a trip to a military base in Bosnia. That's right folks, it's Bosnia cold! 

Something troubling took place. Here's Late Show writer/segment producer Matt Roberts- note his trademark unshaven appearance, green coat, fur hat with ear flaps and picket sign/umbrella combo.

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His look not only works for him, he very often gets compliments from others. Well, some dude comes out of nowhere and tries to steal his look. note the unshaven appearance, the green coat, fur hat with ear flaps and picket sign/umbrella combo. 

webassets/notmatt.jpg

Dude- seriously, I don't know what you're trying to pull, but you know who you are. Cut the crap. It's obvious what you're doing. It's a bunch of bullshit if you ask me.

webassets/mattnotmatt.jpg 

Well, Matt's a bigger guy than I because he went over to make a connection with his counterpart and it turns out they are first cousins. It's a picket line miracle!

We spent some time with TV Barn's Aaron Barnhart (seen here with Justin Stangel)

webassets/barnhart.jpg 

Because of the ice raining down on us, Aaron shot his video pieces through a plastic bag.

Couple more things from Tuesday- when we picketed over at The View, there was a terrifying moment when the giant greedy corporate pig started to deflate

webassets/pig.jpg

The crisis was averted when the dude in the denim jacket kicked the generator and then all was fine. But for a moment there, we nearly lost our inspiration.

Then after picketing we met with the Late Show Interns in an undisclosed location to tell them what it is (was) like writing for a television program. 

webassets/interns.jpg

They asked great questions, and who knows, maybe they'll be out picketing for their cause some day...  I say this every semester, but this time i really mean it- this is one of the best groups of interns we have recently had at the show.

Here's Bob Borden with more from today

Highlights from the Picket Line
BY BOB BORDEN

Crazy day today.  First, it was spitting freezing rain, then snow and we ended with pouring rain.  I was so wet when I got home, my red flannel shirt bled into my undershirt.  But this isn't about me, let's see what exciting things happened on the picket line.

Late Show staffer Mike McIntee (Wahoo Gazette) stopped by to offer his support and pass out miniature Three Musketeers bars. 

webassets/picket3mike.jpg

I don't want to seem ungrateful but wasn't Halloween a couple of months ago?  (I'm just kidding, I still have three of them in my wet jacket.  Thanks, Mike!)  Things got a little crazy/odd around 12:45 when Writer Bill Scheft demanded and received chocolate pudding from the WGA strike fund.
webassets/picket2bill.jpg

And the Picket Line Quote of the Day belongs to Writer Steve Young who walked up to me and said this:

"I got myself a name tag, Steve Young."  -- Steve Young
webassets/picket1steve.jpg
So, there you go.  On a serious note -- as you know, talks broke off last week.  Weather wise, this was our worst day and I have to say, the number of people didn't thin out as time went on.  Everybody was soaking wet and everybody was in this to win this.  Take that, AMPTP!  It was a good day.

11:17 pm est

Thursday, December 13, 2007

TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST...
BY ERIC STANGEL

People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?"

The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog. 

Meanwhile to tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do.

TOP TEN ALL-TIME NBA BLOCKS LEADERS (PER GAME)

10. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar 2.57
9. Marcus Camby 2.58
8. Theo Ratliff 2.68
7. Dikembe Mutombo 2.79
6. Alonzo Mourning 2.82
5. Elmore Smith 2.90
4. David Robinson 2.99
3. Hakeem Olajuwon 3.09
2. Manute Bol 3.34
AND THE NUMBER ONE ALL-TIME NBA BLOCKS LEADERS (PER GAME)
1. Mark Eaton 3.50

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT
http://aol.nba.com/statistics/default_all_time_leaders/AllTimeLeadersBPGQuery.html?topic=4&stat=14
10:46 pm est

IN DEFENSE OF ME

BY LEE ELLENBERG

 

As stated in this blog, I was recently fortunate enough to have a charming conversation with a lovely young actress from a popular television series.  A woman I’ve secretly had a crush on for years.  When I told her I remembered her from the Mel Gibson comedy What Women Want, she seemed more creeped out than charmed.  When she left, Bill Scheft approached me and asked if I had asked her out.  When I explained that I hadn’t, he seemed crestfallen.  Every day since, he and my writing brethren have called me a word that rhymes with “pussy.”  Oops, my mistake.  The word is “pussy.”  I always screw that up.  Anyway, I feel I must now defend myself.  It wasn’t a want of courage that prevented me from asking her out.  The numerous notches on my bedpost are testament to that. (Although, in truth, the notches represent each time a woman has said to me, “Why do you only have King of Queens reruns on your TiVo?”) I just figured the last thing this woman wanted was to be harassed by a dork like me.  I’m sure she gets asked out thousands of times.  And why do I think I possess such keen insight into what women want?  Well, I’ve seen the movie What Women Want three times.  Well, we had another conversation today and I’m now fairly certain she doesn’t think I’m a bucket of slime.  Now, I just have to hope I’m lucky enough to cross paths with her again.  In the meantime, to show my colleagues that I am as hot-blooded as they, I went out and nailed Joy Behar this afternoon.   In fact, she’s in my bed right now enjoying a post-“naughty time“ snack.  Actually, I have to run.  She just inhaled a sleeve of Oreos in 48 seconds and she’s calling for more.  Mama’s hungry!  (more to come)

9:04 pm est

BREAKING NEWS- LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM STATEMENT.....

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

THURSDAY DECEMBER 13, 2007

EARLIER TODAY THE LONG-AWAITED MITCHELL REPORT NAMED HIGH-PROFILE STEROID USERS. UNFORTUNATELY LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM WRITER JOE GROSSMAN WAS INCLUDED ON THAT LIST.

SEVERAL CANCELED CHECKS WRITTEN TO MEXICAN PHARMACIES CONFIRM GROSSMAN'S INVOLVEMENT IN THESE ILLICIT ACTIVITIES. RECEIPTS CONFIRM GROSSMAN PURCHASED FROM OAXACA'S 'EL FARMACIA' THE ANABOLIC STEROIDS STANOZOLOL, WINSTROL AND SOMETHING CALLED "SUPER-ERECCION SUPREMO"

GROSSMAN HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE AT TAD'S STEAK HOUSE TODAY AND SAID THE FOLLOWING

"I AM TRULY SORRY...I ONLY TOOK STEROIDS TO HELP IMPROVE MY TOP TEN JOKES. I MADE A BAD DECISION...IT'S TOUGH TO LOOK AROUND AND KNOW THE OTHER COMEDY/VARIETY WRITERS ARE ON THE JUICE, AND IF I DON'T TAKE IT THEY'RE GOING TO OUT-WRITE ME...TO MY FANS, I AM DEEPLY SORRY."

LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM DOES NOT CONDONE GROSSMAN'S BEHAVIOR.

THIS WILL NOT EFFECT GROSSMAN'S GUEST APPEARANCE AS 'ADOLPHO' IN 'THE DROWSY CHAPERONE.' ON BROADWAY. GOOD SEATS ARE STILL AVAILABLE.

webassets/joecoco.jpg (FILE PHOTO) 

FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT ERIC STANGEL

3:58 pm est

I AM SO VERY, VERY SORRY

BY TOM RUPRECHT

Yesterday I wrote something about Bon Jovi and in quoting the lyrics to "Livin' on a Prayer", I transcribed it as "He's down on his luck/it's rough."

Fellow writer Bob Borden's girlfriend Cara informs me the line is not "rough", it's "tough."

Nice catch, Cara! And for that you're our--

                                 CHEESY JERSEY CHICK OF THE WEEK!

webassets/cara.jpg 

3:17 pm est

Attention Gamers!

BY STEVE YOUNG, GRAPHICS BY BOB BORDEN

If you or someone you love enjoys video games, here’s the perfect holiday gift: Writers Strike ’07!

webassets/LSVG-1.jpg
All the thrilling strategy and fast-paced action of picketing, right in your living room!  Choose one of several realistic midtown Manhattan locations, then use your controller to march your striking writer around and around very slowly for hours at a time as you collect valuable items like hand warmers, energy bars, WGA hats and pins, and sandwiches from Richard Belzer. 

webassets/LSVIDEOGAME2.jpg

Can you keep going for weeks or months until you win a decent contract?   Gain bonus points by befriending Alan Zweibel or Gilbert Gottfried—but watch out for elderly media tycoon Sumner Redstone and his strike-bustin’ sledgehammer! 

Writers Strike ’07 is available for Nintendo Wii and Sony PlayStation, and is rated M (Mature), due to intense violence and sexual content.

8:41 am est

A New Hanukkah Miracle

BY STEVE YOUNG
 
As one of the only Jews in the entertainment industry, I thought I’d share a remarkable experience that ties in with the story of Hanukkah.  One of the themes of Hanukkah is the miracle of the lamp that burned for eight days following the rededication of the Temple, even though there was only enough consecrated oil for one day.
 
Last Tuesday afternoon, just as Hanukkah was about to start, I was given a pair of these chemical hand warmers on the picket line.
 

webassets/handwarmers.jpg
 
According to the packaging, they were just supposed to last for ten hours—but only now, eight days later, are they cooling down!  It’s a modern Hanukkah miracle!  Clearly the Almighty is on the side of the WGA in this fight.  Thank you, God, and thank you, Heatmax, Inc.!

8:29 am est

LET IT OUT
BY LEE ELLENBERG

Writing for a television program, you have to be incredibly careful about what you say.  Now that this strike has freed me from the network’s confining shackles, I am ready to let loose.  I am now going to say something I’ve been holding in for years…

Maybe it’s me, but Danny Aiello always struck me as kind of an asshole.


8:21 am est

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

WGA East Leadership Clarification

BY STEVE YOUNG
 
During the strike, WGA East president Michael Winship has been a high-profile presence on the picket lines, as well as a prolific author of e-mails updating us on the negotiations.  However, much of the public as well as many Guild members are confused about just who our president is.  I hope this chart will clear things up.
                                                     

webassets/michaelwinslowik6.jpg                              webassets/WINSHIP.jpg                                
 
Michael Winslow                                       Michael Winship                    

comedian, vocal sound effects artist         writer, WGA East president

         
credits include several “Police                   credits include episodes 
Academy” films as well as                        of “Nova” and
Spaceballs” and “Michael Winslow:            “3-2-1 Contact,” as well as
Comedy Sound Slapdown!”                      “Benny Goodman: Let's         
                                                           Dance- A Musical Tribute"



Excels at sound effects such as jet            Can only do mediocre helicopter
planes, barking dogs, robots, sirens,          and meowing cat sounds
feet splashing, machine guns,
hundreds of others
 
 We salute the talents and hard work of both of these inspiring figures. 

9:44 pm est

TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST...

BY ERIC STANGEL

People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?"

The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog. 

Meanwhile to tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do.

Top Ten Computer Hardware Tips

10. How do I remove an old heat sink? What steps do I need to take to remove the old heat sink and thermal grease from my machine? What should I use to clean it?

There are a number of things to bear in mind when you do this. See the entire tip for more information.

9. Can I overclock my video card? How do you overclock a videocard and is it worth it?

If you're games are running at an acceptable frame rate, it's probably not worth it. See the entire tip for more information.

8. Need more power, Mr. Scott! I think my home theater box might need a bigger power supply. Am I wrong? Is the one I have okay?

It might not be your power supply that's the problem. See the entire tip for more information.

7. Is my CPU temp too high? My CPU temp is always near 55C to 57C. Is this safe? My system is barely three days old.

If your system is stable then it probably isn't a problem. See the tip for more information.

6. Can I swap a CPU between two motherboards? I have two computers and I want to swap the CPU out of one and put it in the other. How can I do this?

Yes, you might be able to swap the CPU depending on the boards involved. See the entire tip for more information.

5. Need help installing new hard drive! How can I install my new hard disk while opting to use the old one as a database only?

There are a number of different ways you can do this. See the tip for more information.

4. Dead silent P4 2.4C PC? How do I build the quietest PC possible?

There are a number of products that will help minimize noise in your PC. See the entire tip for more information.

3. What is phase change cooling? I know about HS and water cooling but I know nothing about phase change cooling. What is it?

Phase change cooling involves changing the state of a thermally conductive medium from a liquid to a gas, and back. See the entire tip for more information.

2. Heat sink a little loose! My heatsink is not entirely secure - it can budge by 5-10mm. Should I worry about this?

See the entire tip for detailed information.

And the number one Computer Hardware tip

1. Thermal paste? Should I put thermal paste between the CPU and the heat sink?

It depends on what kind of heat transfer you need. See the entire tip for more information.

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_zdext/is_200307/ai_ziff44625 

9:22 pm est

The End of the Strike [WARNING: SPOILERS]
BY JEREMY WEINER
 The writers’ strike is now in its sixth week and it may seem as if there is no end in sight.  Don’t be discouraged.  Earlier today, LateShowWritersOnStrike.com  received an e-mail from an entertainment industry insider with intimate knowledge of how the writers’ strike eventually ends.
 SPOILER ALERT!
 [Warning: Stop reading now if you don’t want to learn details about the conclusion of the writers’ strike]
              Hi Guys,
 
 Big fan of the site.  There’s no time to explain, but I know how the writers’ strike ends. I don’t want to give everything away, but here are some details you and your readers might find interesting.
 
 -Things take a turn for the worse in late December when several members of the AMPTP are wounded in a knife fight with former Hart to Hart writers in a Del Taco parking lot.
 
 - Leaders of the WGA and the AMPTP finally return to the negotiating table after J.J. Abrams agrees to let them see Cloverfield a week early, on 1-11-08.
 
 -Picketing in New York City is suspended after one of the newer guild members accidentally swallows a strike whistle [he survives and picketing resumes].
 
 -After another prolonged stalemate, the AMPTP dramatically improves its electronic sell-through offer in exchange for Patric Verrone’s daily skin moisturizing regimen.
 
 -During the course of negotiations, it is revealed that a WGA member is pregnant…with an AMPTP member’s baby!
 
 - Something crazy happens involving a kangaroo, a blimp and the remains of Merv Griffin
 
 -Richard Belzer plays a pivotal role in the final negotiations.   You knew he would.  It’s The Belz at his very best.     
 
             That’s all for now.
 
 If you post this, call me "Nikolai Finke."

3:34 pm est

THIS HAS OFFICIALLY GONE TOO FAR
 BY TOM RUPRECHT

This morning I was listening to "Livin' on a Prayer" ("Tommy used to work on the docks/Union's been on strike/He's down on his luck/It's rough") when it hit me- my life has become a Bon Jovi song.

Now as someone who grew up in New Jersey, I realized it was only a matter of time, but still....

Soon I'll be holding women and swearing that I'll never let them go.
12:34 pm est

A Message from Late Show Videotape Operator Tom Catusi
8:35 am est

Strike Captain Duties

BY BILL SCHEFT

 For the last six weeks, people have constantly asked me, "What are the duties of a strike captain?" Okay, one guy. Very simply, the strike captain is responsible for his team of union members, providing them not only with information about upcoming picket sites and strike-related events, but with moral support and guidance on the picket line.
 
 This is critical. For instance, today at ABC, I saw that one of my men was unable to summon the courage to ask for the phone number of an actress on a hit TV show after chatting with her on the line for over a half-hour. As the strike captain, I volunteered to intervene. He said no. But seriously, what does he know? I'm the strike captain.
 
 So, star of the hit TV medical dramedy on Fox Tuesday nights at 9, loyal union brethren LEE ELLENBERG will be on the picket line Thursday, 10-2, in front of Viacom.

12:09 am est

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

More Troubling News From The Negotiations Front

BY STEVE YOUNG


Today the AMPTP issued two new demands they insist must be met before they resume negotiations with the WGA: the Guild must issue new plastic whistles tuned to D#, and all WGA baseball caps must be one-size-fits-all instead of having an adjustable strap.
 
Bastards.  This could be a very long winter.


4:45 pm est

BILL SCHEFT'S STRIKE-RELATED, DAVE-TYPE MONOLOGUE JOKE OF THE DAY:
CBS President Les Moonves told shareholders the network will make a billion dollars this year from the Internet. $1,000,000,000. Normally, to see that many zeroes together in one place, you have to watch "Big Brother."
-Bill Scheft
8:06 am est

Takin' it to the Streets, of the Upper East Side.
BY BOB BORDEN

While on my way home from a holiday party (notice the photo was taken in the morning - I partied ALL night long, what up?!) I noticed a sign of support crudely spray painted on the side of a truck.

webassets/VAN.jpg

Isn't that great?  EVERYBODY I've talked to is against the AMPTP on this issue.  We won't give in, we won't back down!  By the way, I'm currently looking for a job in the tri-state area.  If you hear of anything, please contact the webmaster of this site.
8:02 am est

The Negotiations Take Their Toll
BY STEVE YOUNG
 
The long, hard slog of negotiations is taking its toll on the AMPTP.  Yesterday at dinner, a weary and embittered Nick Counter told his wife he wouldn’t meet with her again until she took the tuna casserole off the table.
7:59 am est

Monday, December 10, 2007

Star Trek Day
BY JUSTIN STANGEL

Today was Star Trek Day on the picket lines in Los Angeles. Writers from the many incarnations of Star Trek marched with fans in front of Paramount Pictures. Interesting idea, though I would like to point out one important thing- This WGA/AMPTP disastrous negotiation would never have happened in Star Trek. In the futuristic utopia where Star Trek is set, people don't intentionally manipulate or mislead others as the AMPTP has done here… well, except the dreaded Romulans. Though most of the alpha quadrant knows what they are getting when dealing with the Romulans. The WGA is doing everything to communicate with the AMPTP- Hailing frequencies are open. Universal translator is active. With all of this no one can understand what the AMPTP is doing.

6 Weeks ago, they put a bad offer on the table. We go on strike. Weeks later we hear that they want to come back to the table. There may even be a secret deal in place. People found this rumor as tempting as the Orion Slave Women. Turns out the polarity was reversed on that one. After two weeks of talks, the AMPTP walks away from the table. Who acts like this? Well, The Breen… but The Breen would have walked away because in their culture this would have been a sign that the negotiations were in the final phase. This kind of strategy is as chaotic and undesirable as the Mugato. Am I right people?

Rumors are multiplying like Tribbles in a storage facility of poisoned grain. People now fear they may start talks with the DGA. I don't see how this would help anyone. It's like when Captain James T. Kirk had to participate in a hand-to-hand battle with the Gorn. In the end both sides are wounded, though Kirk did spare the Gorn Captain's life. Are you listening AMPTP?

The Klingons were bad in Star Trek TOS. In Star Trek TNG, they were good. If they can do it, maybe there is hope for the AMPTP.

"Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra."
8:29 pm est

Check in time!
Once again, let's check in with Late Show Writers Assistant Jill Goodwin to see what's going on over at the Late Show offices-

webassets/FetterTux003.jpg
I'm told Jill is out sick today. That's Larry The Temp. Nice work Larry!
7:07 pm est

Working at the Late Show vs. Not working at the Late Show.
BY BOB BORDEN

Working at the Late Show, for me, means trying my best to be on top of the news, popular culture and trying to come up with a twist that's better than anybody else's...OK, better than Lee's (Moms are never wrong). 

Not working at the Late Show means arguing with the laundromat woman (at 3 o'clock in the afternoon) on why "C-6" in the snack vending machine is ALWAYS empty. 

webassets/c6.jpg

I wouldn't have made a fuss but "C-6" happens to be Munchos.  They're potato-y delicious!
7:02 pm est

EXCLUSIVE- INTERNAL AMPTP MEMO

BY ERIC STANGEL

Recently the AMPTP hired high-level PR experts Mark Fabiani and Chris Lehane to handle the delicate situation with the writers strike. We at LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com have obtained an internal email which shows to what length the studios are willing to go. I warn you, some phrases included are quite disturbing and are inappropriate to those with a weak constitution.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FROM: M. FABIANI, C. LEHANE

TO: ALL AMPTP MEMBERS

CC: A. TREBEK

DEAR AMPTP MEMBERS,

AS THE WORK STOPPAGE CONTINUES, WE REPRESENTING THE AMPTP ARE TAKING THE MESSAGE OF THE STUDIOS IN A NEW DIRECTION. PLEASE WHEN POSSIBLE REINFORCE AT INTERVIEWS, DINNER PARTIES OR IDLE GOSSIPING SESSIONS THE "TALKING POINTS" LISTED BELOW. 

REMEMBER, AS WE ALWAYS SAY IN THE PR BUSINESS, "IF YOU REPEAT SOMETHING ENOUGH, IT BECOMES FACT." 

PLEASE DO NOT QUESTION WHY WE ARE FOCUSING ON THESE POINTS. YOU'LL THANK US ONCE WE DEMORALIZE THE UNION INTO ACCEPTING A LOWBALL DEAL.

-WE WILL WHENEVER POSSIBLE MAKE THE SUGGESTION THAT WGA CHIEF NEGOTIATOR DAVID YOUNG SMELLS LIKE DAY OLD EGG SALAD.

-WE WILL PLACE IN NEXT MONTH'S PLAYBOY MAGAZINE THAT MISS JANUARY'S TURN-ONS INCLUDE "PEOPLE WHO DON'T GET PAID FOR ELECTRONIC SELL-THROUGH"

-PLEASE FLOAT THE RUMOR THAT NIKKI FINKE IS ACTUALLY THE NAME MATT DRUDGE WRITES UNDER WHEN HE WEARS WOMEN'S CLOTHING 

-STUDIOS SHOULD SUGGEST THAT THE UPCOMING REALITY SHOW "AMERICAN GLADIATORS" IS ALREADY EARNING SUPER BOWL TYPE AD RATES

-AND FINALLY, WHILE WE ARE DEVASTATED BY THE "TREK DAY" AT THE PICKET LINE, YOU MUST NOT ACKNOWLEDGE ITS EXISTENCE- EVEN IF ALL THE CAPTAINS FROM EACH SERIES STAND TOGETHER FOR A PHOTO OP.

NOTE- PLEASE ALSO KNOW THAT WE WILL CONTINUE TO RECORD ALL EAST COAST PICKET LINE CHATTER THROUGH RICHARD BELZER AND HIS DOGGIE-SHAPED MICROPHONE 

webassets/belzerZZ.jpg 

OUR PLANS HAVE ALREADY BEEN EFFECTIVE AS WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CREATE THE PERCEPTION THAT IT WAS THE WGA AND NOT US WHO WANTED TO END NEGOTIATIONS EARLY LAST WEEK TO CELEBRATE THE FIRST NIGHT OF HANUKKAH.  THAT WAS JUST ONE VICTORY, BUT WE MUST PRESS ON.

THANK YOU AND MAY GOD BLESS THE PRODUCERS

8:22 am est

TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST....

BY ERIC STANGEL

People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?"

The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog.  

Meanwhile to tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do.

 Buffalo’s Top Ten
    10.     Go out on the town. Chippewa Street’s bars, clubs and restaurants really rock!

    9.     Stop and smell the flowers at the magnificent tri-domed crystal palace of the Buffalo and Erie County Botanical Gardens or enjoy the new otter and sea lion exhibits at the historic Buffalo Zoo.

    8.     Take in a concert by the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra in the acoustic and architectural perfection of Kleinhans Music Hall or see a show in the awe-inspiring splendor of Shea’s Performing Arts Center.

    7.     Visit the “Gateway to the West” at the recently restored Erie Canal Harbor and step aboard the World War II-era destroyer and submarine at the Buffalo & Erie County Naval and Military Park.  

    6.     Check out the antique shops, galleries, pubs, boutiques and bistros of the Elmwood Village,  recently named one of America’s top ten neighborhoods by the American Planning Association.  

    5.     Discover why architecture buffs love Buffalo on a walking tour of downtown or the Allentown Preservation District.

    4.     Sample a simmering plate of authentic chicken wings at the Anchor Bar – the place they were invented.

    3.     Take a photo at Terrapin Point in Niagara Falls State Park, ride the Maid of the Mist and experience the hurricane deck at the Cave of the Winds.

    2.     Experience the restorations of two magnificent Frank Lloyd Wright homes – the Darwin D. Martin House in Buffalo’s beautiful Parkside neighborhood and the Graycliff Estate overlooking Lake Erie in nearby Derby.

    1.     Visit the world-class art collection at the Albright-Knox Art Gallery and have lunch at the Muse Restaurant.

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT THIS LINK

http://www.visitbuffaloniagara.com/visitors/stories/topten.asp

12:01 am est

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Upcoming Picketing Theme Days
BY STEVE YOUNG
 
The following special “theme days” are planned for upcoming New York City picketing events.  Check the WGAE website for specific locations and times.
 
 --December 11th: Cold, Flu, and Persistent Dry Cough Day
 
 --December 13th: Bring Your Own Giant Inflatable Pig Or Rat!
 
 --December 18th: Refreshments Left Over From Last Week’s Picketing
 
 --December 19th: Obscene And/Or Violent Chants Day
 
 --December 20th: Bring Someone Who Looks Enough Like A Celebrity To Briefly Fool The Press
 
 --December 21st: Let’s March Around—Blindfolded!
 
 --December 25th: Jews-Only Picketing Day
 
 Let’s all turn out for these important events and show the AMPTP we mean business!


8:35 pm est

THE RESULTS ARE IN!
BY LEE ELLENBERG

As a writer for the Late Show, I am proud to work with some of the funniest people I have ever met.  That being said, judging by a recent fan’s email to this very website, it’s clear one writer stands above the others.  That writer?  Me.  To prove my point, I will now share with you the aforementioned email:

Dear Lee,

After reading all of the entries on lateshowwritersonstrike.com, it is clear you are, by far, the most talented writer.  Your pieces are so well-crafted and amusing, I can only surmise the comedy Gods themselves have reached down to this mortal coil to turn your pen into a heavenly instrument, which brings joy and happiness to anyone fortunate enough to read the golden words from whence it flows.  In these uncertain times, it is clear that your writing is just the thing to mend the frayed bonds of this fragile world. 

Oh…and bring a big appetite tomorrow because I made about a thousand latkes!

I love you, sweetface!

Mommy.


Suck on that, losers.
8:11 am est

Saturday, December 8, 2007

INJURY UPDATE
BY JEREMY WEINER
 
Earlier today, the following headline was posted on ESPN.com:
 
MRI SHOWS GROSSMAN HAS SPRAINED KNEE LIGAMENT
 
About an hour lately, Variety.com reported that Late Show writer Joe Grossman had suffered a sprained knee ligament on the picket line Thursday and would be forced to miss the rest of picketing for 2007.
 
Tonight, LateShowWritersOnStrike.com can confirm that the Variety.com report is categorically FALSE.
 
Fortunately for the WGA, it was Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman who suffered the sprained knee ligament, not Late Show writer Joe Grossman. 
 
Rex went down four minutes into the Bears' game Thursday night when his left leg twisted awkwardly under the force of defensive lineman Cornelius Griffin.   Joe is in peak physical condition and is expected to be on the picket line this Tuesday [however, as a precaution, Joe will travel to Alabama sometime next week to have his knee evaluated by renowned orthopedic surgeon, Dr. James Andrews].
 
We apologize for the confusion.
9:39 pm est

Once Again- The Adventures Of Strikey!
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12:19 pm est

EROTIC TIPS TO ROCK HER WORLD
BY LEE ELLENBERG

Sure you've been having fun in bed, but lately, have you felt like you’ve hit that point of no return?  That is why I, Lee Ellenberg, the internet’s most renowned sexpert, will tell you how to push great sex into the next realm—supersex!

NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT
Why wait to be in your partner's arms to initiate a sexual romp?  During dinner, or better yet, the drive home, tell her a hot story filled with sensual details.  By the time you get home, your sweet angel will have transformed into a sloppy whore.

WHERE’S THE FIRE, COWBOY!
As a rule, women take longer to get the ol’ motor running, so don’t rush your little honey.  Set the mood for her by drawing her a bath with some scented candles.  Then bring it to another level with some supersonic sex music, like Jeff Buckley’s Grace.  Next, stimulate her senses by feeding her expensive dark chocolate and red wine.  When she’s finally ready to enter the highway to the naughty zone, take your sweet ass time.  Leave the Nomex driving gloves at home, Dario—it ain’t a race.

MAKE HER FEEL BEAUTFUL
Ask to leave the lights on during your next “no-no time.”  It’ll show her you love her body, every last one of her womanly curves.  This will make her feel less self-conscious and there’s nothing sexier to a woman than a man who makes her feel sexy!

Follow these simple steps and you’ll be burning up the bedroom in no time!  And remember…crap, wrong website!


9:30 am est

MY LIVER HURTS
BY LEE ELLENBERG

Discussions about the writers’ strike usually center on its casualties.  Is it the producers?  Is the writers?  Is it the home viewers?  Wrong, wrong and wrong.  It’s my liver.  Since the strike began, my alcohol consumption has increased tenfold.  What else is there to do after a day’s picketing except tuck yourself into a bar and drink your face off?  Well, that’s precisely what I’ve been doing.  <Hiccup> (Foster Brooks-type noise for effect.)  But, this story has a happy ending.

First, you have to meet my best friend.  Let’s call him “John”—I don’t mean to imply his name is not John and that we should just call him that—his name really is John so to call him otherwise would be inappropriate and not a little confusing.  On lazy afternoons, John and I will walk into our favorite watering hole: Fred’s on 83rd and Amsterdam.  The bar/restaurant has the nicest owners, bartenders and wait staff and the best wings in the city.  The place is so great that over the summer, Bob Dylan was having lunch there and offered to buy the bar on the spot.  Of course, Bob is something of a mumbler, so he could have said, “I have pineapples in my pants.”

Seated at the bar, I’ll order a whiskey and John will order a White Russian.  Now, I know you’re thinking John only orders this drink as an homage to The Big Lebowski (a favorite of both of ours).  Well, no.  Simply put, on the list of greatest days of John’s life, the day his distant father finally said, “I love you, son,” ranks one notch below the day he discovered heavy cream can get you drunk.  After years of John’s prodding, I decided to wade my toe into those milky waters.  And, you know what, it’s fucking delicious!  So good, in fact, that it’s inspired me to create an offshoot of the White Russian, which will be the featured refreshment at my New Year’s party—McDonald’s shakes with vodka!  Try it, you’ll thank me later. (Incidentally, if anyone is planning on coming to the party, a spinach-artichoke dip would be out of sight.)

Cut to: this week.  I decide it would be a smart idea to take advantage of all this free time in ways that don't include Kahlua, so I schedule a check-up.  After an hour of groping and pricking, I sit in Dr. Fisch’s office, awaiting to hear how weeks of downing vodkaccinos have ravaged my body.  Dr. Fisch walks in, sits behind his desk and opens a flimsy manila envelope, which houses the results of my exam.  He looks at me and says, “Lee, you have bloodshot eyes, shaky hands, unexplained bruises and chronic digestive problems.  But, on the bright side, your calcium levels are just marvelous!”
9:20 am est

Friday, December 7, 2007

TONIGHT'S TOP TEN LIST.....

BY ERIC STANGEL

People keep writing in and asking "Why won't you post some Top Ten lists?"

The quick answer is- we write Top Ten lists for the Late Show, not the strike blog.  

Meanwhile to tide you over, I have tracked down a top ten list from the internet. Hopefully, this'll do.

TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY ADOBE SOFTWARE'S 'CONTRIBUTE 4' PROGRAM

10. Customize web publishing.

9. Revolutionize web documents with enhanced Macromedia FlashPaper 2.

8. Ramp up broad-based, centrally controlled web publishing. 

7. Empower everyone with intuitive approvals and collaboration.

6. Employ administrative controls designed for ultimate management.

5. Keep web and business professionals in synch with tight Dreamweaver integration.

4. Maintain website integrity.

3. Make web publishing as easy as using Microsoft Office.

2. Save time and money while planning for future growth.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON TO BUY ADOBE SOFTWARE'S 'CONTRIBUTE 4' PROGRAM 

1. Increase the value of websites by keeping them up to date.

 

(NOTE: If I were putting that list together, I would have separated #7 and #6 and substituted a different #1) 

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT THIS LINK

http://www.adobe.com/products/contribute/productinfo/upgrade/reasonstobuy.html

5:13 pm est

HERE'S YOUR METAPHOR
BY TOM RUPRECHT

I was picketing yesterday when the WGA press liaison came over and said, "We'd like you to do an  interview." Now I've done my share of interviews on the line, so I was feeling pretty pleased with myself that the WGA now views me as the guy they actually handpick to do the interviews. I began thinking fanciful thoughts, "This must be a pretty important interview if they're asking ME to do it." I walked over expecting to find a big-time reporter like Brian Williams, Mike Wallace or perhaps a coked-to-the-gills Pat O'Brien.

Instead I got some French guy who spoke almost no English.

I thought he said his name was "Gerard Depardieu", but I realize I'm probably not remembering that right. He pulled out his notepad and we began "talking." He would spout some gibberish. I would nod and then give an answer to whatever question I felt would be an appropriate one for him to have asked. After a few minutes, I looked down at his notepad and discovered that he was writing with a pen that had run out of ink. The man wasn't writing, so much as making stray depressions in a piece of paper.

My first thought was--

"The French are idiots." (Incidentally this is generally my first thought no matter what's happening.)

And so we continued on with this "interview" that no one could ever possibly read. Two people talking to each other in different languages with the transcription being done by a broken pen. It all seemed so futile. But then I thought about what I'd be doing when the interview ended-- walking for hours in an endless circle. Suddenly this interview seemed like only the second-most pointless thing I'd do all day.
5:00 pm est

FRIENDS TO LAST A LIFETIME
BY LEE ELLENBERG

Over the past four and a half weeks, we writers have spent endless hours picketing.  We come home with aching backs, tired legs and sore feet.  But, one silver lining has been the wonderful friends we’ve made on the picket line.  Yes, it’s true, with so many people walking the lines, it’s difficult to remember all their names, but nonetheless, I am confident many of these friendships will last a lifetime.  If I may, I’d now like to list those people with whom I’ve been fortunate enough to establish a lasting bond:

The guy in the hat.

The woman in the hat.

The woman in the hat, who I had originally thought was a guy in a hat (oops!).

The guy who always smells like a hamster cage, although, unsettlingly, he doesn’t own a hamster.

The guy who earlier today elbowed Buck Henry out of the way to snag the last bite-size Almond Joy.

Richard Belzer (not the celebrity, the one who wrote for Crosswits in ’86).

The girl who, even though I’ve told her my name 20 times, still thinks my name is “Stavros.”

The guy who looks like a fat Kyle MacLachlan.

Alan or Adam Zweibel…I forget.

The guy who wrote for Airwolf for 3 seasons and ends every story with, “That man’s name?  Jan-Michael Vincent.”

And, last but certainly not least, my new best friend who was kind enough to share with me the details of his collapsing marriage…guy in brown pants.
7:41 am est

Check in time!

Let's check in with Late Show Writers Assistant Jill Goodwin to see what's going on over at the Late Show offices-

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Keep up the good work Jill! 

7:35 am est

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Picketline Report: HBO

Today the WGA and fellow unions picketed in front of HBO. It was the coldest day of the week and very impressively had the greatest turnout. 

It's a huge credit to the Guild members and our supporters.

Late Show interns came by. Good bunch of kids. We gave them valuable experience holding picket signs and walking in a circle.

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Also visiting- Don from the late show newsgroup. He expressed tremendous support from the online folks and we appreciate it.

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When you're walking the line, you're looking for any bit of information about what's going on at the bargaining table. I was picketing behind someone and couldn't help but overhear their conversation. The person said "Things at one point were looking decent, then they broke down and now look worse than ever." I was discouraged because I thought the negotiations had taken a bad turn. Then I realized they were just talking about Joan Rivers' face.

It was too cold to take many photos today. It required taking my hand out of the glove to click. When you've got 4 hours in 24 degree temps- not worth it. 

Here's the recap, as best as I can do.

Some politician came and shook hands

(photo not available)

There was some spirited chanting which brought midtown traffic to a standstill

(photo not available)

Oliver Platt was there

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Jerry Stiller took off his shirt and taunted HBO executives

(photo not available- thank the Lord) 

Here's Bob Borden with more observations

Highlights from the Picket Line
By Bob Borden

Whew!  Another cold one but that didn't stop us from getting out there and holding up signs.  Today we were picketing in front of HBO.  Why?  I'm not sure - I happen to love their programming.  Plus, I was able to stock up on discounted "Deadwood" merchandise for Christmas gifts (I hope my brother isn't reading this).  Head Writer/Producer Eric Stangel really saved the day when he gave me some hand warmers:

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Thanks, Eric!  Before the hand warmers, I was keeping warm by dipping my hands in the coffee jugs.  Not such a popular move.  The other EXCITING thing; Writer Steve Young put on his second pair of gloves at 1:25 PM:

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That's the latest time this week.  I blame global warming.  Holy crap!  I have The Kinks' song "Apeman" in my itunes library.  I didn't know that.  Anyway, a popular question while walking the line is "What did you do after you left the line yesterday?"  Some people took naps, some had Doctor appointments but Joe Grossman and Steve Young had the best answer.  After picketing yesterday, they ate lunch at Tad's Steakhouse.  Ha ha!  Tad's (note: I've never been there) is for people who crave discount meat.  I thought that was very funny.  They both enjoyed their meals, so what do I know.  I saw a movie after walking the line today.  When the film was over a woman yelled out, "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!"  Ha ha, I guess she didn't enjoy it.  That's it.  Striking stinks.

9:50 pm est

DAY 32: BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

It was 24 degrees and windy when picketing began today here in New York. You want to wrap up this strike quickly? Make the WGA and AMPTP negotiate outdoors in these conditions. This sumbitch would be signed sealed and delivered before lunchtime.

A full report on today's picketing coming later. Right now I have to thaw.

-Eric Stangel 

3:31 pm est

WORLD EXCLUSIVE VIDEO- COMING SOON

Check back- we've got a new video coming above......

12:09 am est

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

DAY 31: COMEDY/VARIETY DAY
BY ERIC STANGEL

Day 31 found the striking writers and the supporting unions at 30 Rockefeller Plaza.

It was 4 hours of snowy picketing broken up by words from some special guests. Late Show Musical Director Paul Shaffer came down to deliver some inspiring comments to guild members (a transcript can be found below).

It was great to see Paul again, as well as the other Late Show staffers who marched with us.
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Unfortunately as has happened a lot recently, Late Show Executive Producer Barbara Gaines had to be restrained.
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The questions most often asked on the picket line today were:
1) "Have you heard anything?" 1,489 times
2) "Do you think this will be over by Christmas?" 933 times
3) "Why are Jerry Stiller and Sam Waterston holding hands?" 2,322 times

It didn't feel as frigid today. Partly because there was no wind, and partly because we kept warm after Sopranos creator David Chase flipped over a parked car and set it on fire. Way to go David!

Midway through the march, Paul Shaffer offered some inspiring comments. He was followed by Richard Belzer, Buck Henry, Alan Zweibel, Richard Belzer and Gilbert Gottfried.
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And finally in honor of Hanukkah, there was no inflatable strike pig today. Happy Holidays.

Here's Bob Borden with more...

Highlights from the Picket Line
BY BOB BORDEN

I'm not sure if it's really a highlight but my camera ACCIDENTALLY took a photo of Gerry Mulligan's ass:

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Sorry, Gerry.  But I have to say, not bad.  The picketing wasn't as freezing today because we were in the middle of the block so Writer Steve Young didn't put on his second pair of gloves until 12:25 PM.

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And last; Writer Joe Grossman wasn't pleased by my reporting he ate three slices of pizza yesterday.  He'd like the record to state the slices were very small and they were having trouble giving it away.  Joe's not going to be happy with the photo I took today.  I discovered something Joe loves even more than free pizza:

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Free hot chocolate!  I've never seen Joe smile before.  That's it.  Remember; When picketing in the cold - dress in layers.
9:34 pm est

Paul Shaffer's Comments..

BY BILL SCHEFT

Wednesday was designated "Comedy-Variety Day" at the WGAE picket line, outside of 30 Rockefeller Plaza. Celebritati from the world of television and motion pictures too numerous and insignificant to mention were on hand to provide support for the striking writers.

Late Show Musical Director Paul Shaffer was kind enough to show up and offered some stirring words to the assembled picketers. They are reprinted here with his permission:
 
"I am happy to be here. I support you. You people are show business. And if I may, I have a personal message for the AMPTP: I can accept your unchecked avarice at the expense of the creative community. I can deal with your petty and juvenile half-truths and your dime store manipulations of the collective bargaining process. I can set my watch by your bullying, which comes with the frequency of a bodily function.  But when you hold my daytime dramas, my stories, my soap operas if you will, hostage, when you fuck with The Young and the Restless, you fuck with Paul Shaffer. And that, my friends, is a fight you cannot win.
  
Thank you, and God Bless the Writers Guild of America."


8:52 pm est

WHAT'S STRIKEY UP TO NOW?

BY BOB BORDEN

A couple of days have gone by without hearing from our mascot, Strikey.  Well, I was shocked to learn he currently has the number one song in England!  Take a listen to a cut from his new album, Strikey Sings.  This selection is called; Strike Song.

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Click here to be taken to Strikey's cool hit single mp3 page

I don't know why it takes Americans longer to discover our own artists.

7:26 pm est

NEGOTIATION NEWS FLASH!!

Breaking news: hoping to reach a deal quickly, the WGA has withdrawn a key demand regarding old media.  The Guild is no longer insisting on a cut of the revenue from shows transmitted via telegraph.

-STEVE YOUNG 

9:09 am est

Of Pizza and Provenance
BY JOE GROSSMAN

On Tuesday, the Writers Guild of America provided pizza for all of us who were picketing in front of the News Corporation building. While I was enjoying my hard-earned slice, a man passing by the picket line asked me, "Where's that pizza from?"

"Someone brought it for the picketers," I told him.

Still walking as he spoke, like some sort of inquisitive but non-swimming shark, he asked, "Yeah, but where's it from?!?"

Not having procured the pies myself, I said, "I don't know."

His response came quickly and coldly, dripping with contempt: "Yeah, 'I don't know.' Nice answer!'" He strode briskly into the chilly distance, leaving only troubling questions in his wake.

Why did he react the way he did? Maybe he was a representative of the AMPTP and he wanted to know who was supplying writers with food, so he could drive them out of business and destroy the proprietors' families. Or he could have been one of those National Pizza Institute surveyors you always hear about, dutifully gauging New Yorkers' consumption habits. But most likely, he was simply a surly passerby who was having a hard time finding his favorite snack in the notoriously pizzeria-sparse wasteland that is Manhattan.

Regardless, I knew what I had to do: find out where that pizza came from. It took some detective work (specifically, going over to one of the empty pizza boxes and looking at the name printed on the top), but soon I found my answer: Pronto Pizza, 62 West 48th Street. Now, if ever again I ran into this mysterious stranger, and he again chose to quiz me on the origins of my lunch from December 4, 2007, I would be able to say with absolute confidence: "Pronto Pizza, my good
man. Pronto Pizza."

But would that be enough? Realizing it wouldn't, I hurried over to the restaurant and continued my research.

Which brings me to my challenge. Conservatively estimating that half of the American population regularly visits Lateshowwritersonstrike.com, there's a 50% chance that my nemesis is reading this now. So I address these words to you, anonymous paunchy middle-aged man with blue jacket, ill-kempt beard, receding hairline, and no sign of a wife, girlfriend or other female who might suffer your companionship or ever feel any human warmth for you: Drop by Rockefeller Center on Wednesday, or HBO on Thursday, or any of the upcoming picket sites, and I'll be prepared for whatever questions you throw my way.

"How much for a spinach calzone?" you might ask? Without hesitation, I'd tell you it costs $4.

"What is Pento's Special?" Oh, you mean the 19-inch pie with pepperoni, sausage, meatballs, mushrooms and extra cheese?

"How many items are available at the salad bar?" Officially 29, I'd reply, but insiders know secret ways to get access to special ingredients like fresh melon and pepperoncini. How, you ask? Well, wouldn't YOU like to know.

See, that's where you and I differ, dear sir. When I want information, I don't just ask one random person and then give up. I get answers --- by any means necessary. So go ahead, big shot. Do your worst.

You picked the wrong guy to fuck with.

Cordially,
Joe Grossman
9:04 am est

WITNESSING HISTORY

BY JUSTIN STANGEL 

We are witnessing history. There are only a few times in our lives where we remember where we were when a special event happened.

People say:
I remember where I was when Kennedy was shot.
I remember where I was when man landed on the moon
I remember where I was when Elvis died.

Well now will all remember where we were when Carson Daly crossed the picket line and did original programs airing at 1:30 am.

Tell your kids what historic event took place.

11:56 pm est

Day 30: Strike News and Notes

BY ERIC STANGEL

How can it be Day 30? Honestly.

The WGAE picketed in frigid temperatures in front of Fox News Corp.  

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According to the National Weather Bureau, the wind made it feel like you were getting kicked in the nuts by a mule.

Staffers again braved the weather to show their support for us. 

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EMTs worked for 45 minutes to thaw the expression of Late Show Strike Captain Bill Scheft's face.  

At one point a member of the Negotiating Committee gave a first-hand account of what has been going on a the bargaining table.

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He said there were matters that had yet to be discussed, things could take a while, and that we needed to continue to stick together. He also said we should be prepared in case this went to April or May.

My first thought was "This thing better get resolved fairly well before April or May for everyone's sake."

My second thought was "If he's a member of the negotiating committee and they're meeting in Los Angeles today, what the hell is this dude doing in New York?" 

We did the Writers Guild Secret Santa drawing. What am I supposed to buy for Gilbert Gottfried?  

Here's a sign you've been picketing too long. If you're dizzy when you're NOT walking in a circle, you've been picketing too long.

One more note- I think Strikey The Writers Strike Mascot is catching on.

webassets/strikey.jpgTake a look at some graffiti I saw on my way home

webassets/HPIM4599.jpg Looks like a match to me. Way to go Strikey! You're really getting the word out.

Here's Bob Borden with some more picketing highlights from today:

Highlights from the picket line:
By Bob Borden

11:18 AM - Writer Steve Young puts on a second pair of gloves:

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Steve was well prepared for the freezing temperatures.  In addition to two pairs of gloves he also wore: two pairs of socks, two jackets and one hat with ear flaps.  (One side note on his photo - I saved it as "Steveyoungglove"  - Ha ha!   Sounds dirty, right?...Hello?)

1:45 PM - Writer Joe Grossman eats his third slice of pizza:
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I've known Joe for about four years now.  He weighs about a buck twenty five soaking wet and God love him, he can put it away.  Who knew?  I hope you enjoyed these highlights from the picket line.  (A side note on Joe's photo - I saved it as "JoeLovesPizza" - eh, that's not so funny.)

 

11:48 pm est

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

New WGA Freebies!
BY STEVE YOUNG
 
In the strike’s first few days, writers were cheered by the distribution of high-quality WGA items such as hats, t-shirts, and whistles.
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That was several weeks ago.  Is the Guild planning to give us any more cool WGA stuff?  Yes!  I have it on good authority that these dazzling freebies will be handed out at this week’s picketing:
 
WGA cake servers  
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WGA AA batteries 
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WGA anti-bacterial soap
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WGA postal scales
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WGA collar stays
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Onward to victory with our assortment of complimentary promotional items!
4:44 pm est

LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM'S STRIKE-RELATED, DAVE-TYPE MONOLOGUE JOKE OF THE DAY:

It was so cold in New York, earlier today, striking writers put up a picket line around Al Roker.

-ERIC STANGEL 

4:39 pm est

Benefits For Striking Writers
BY STEVE YOUNG
 
Many New York City businesses are gallantly offering special discounts to WGA members who are taking a financial hit from the strike.  Show your WGA card and take advantage of these money-saving deals:
 
--AAA Exterminators—will kill 10 rodents in your apartment for the price of 5.
 
--Midtown Parking Plus—management will be responsible for personal property left in your vehicle, up to $14 value (limit one hour).
 
--Happy Delight Nail Salon—The ladies will not cruelly gossip about you in Korean until after you’ve left.
 
--Queensboro Plaza Fried Chicken—unlimited straws and napkins when you buy the 60 Piece Family Fun Barrel.
 
--Tiffany’s—complimentary engraving of “WGA On Strike” with purchase of a sterling silver picket sign.
 
Stay tuned for more special offers!
9:05 am est

BILL SCHEFT'S STRIKE-RELATED, DAVE-TYPE MONOLOGUE JOKE OF THE DAY:
The strike is a month old, which means we're now really getting into crunch time. According to official Writers Guild statistics, there are only enough original commercials with Peyton Manning to last until June, 2011.

-BILL SCHEFT
9:04 am est

Monday, December 3, 2007

Check in time

Let's check in with Late Show Writers Assistant Jill Goodwin to see what's happening in the office...

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Keep up the good work Jill! 

10:34 pm est

REALLY???

BY ERIC STANGEL

Yesterday the match-ups for college football bowl games were announced. I noticed something odd.

Not sure it looks good for the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers to be arguing over money at the bargaining table and also co-sponsoring the Sun Bowl

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(BY THE WAY IF ANYONE FROM BRUT SEES THIS, KEEP DOIN' WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'. IF IT AIN'T BROKE, DON'T FIX IT.)

10:20 pm est

BREAKING NEWS: MORE PRESSURE ON THE AMPTP
by Jeremy Weiner
 
Sources tell me that Henri Arnold and Michael Argirion, the duo responsible for the popular Jumble word game in hundreds of newspapers across the country, have decided to immediately cease writing Jumble clues until the AMPTP makes a fair deal with the WGA.  Take a look at tomorrow's Jumble:
 
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Just another example of the overwhelming and inspiring support this movement has received from the entire creative community.
 
To Henri and Michael, I say:   UOY HANTK
9:36 pm est

And Now- The Adventures of Strikey!
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7:42 am est

BILL SCHEFT'S STRIKE-RELATED DAVE-TYPE MONOLOGUE JOKE OF THE DAY:

This is a classic labor struggle over compensation for content on the new media. The writers have the overwhelming support of the public and the Democratic presidential candidates, while the producers have the backing of that cat who keeps flushing the toilet on YouTube.

-BILL SCHEFT 

7:39 am est

100,000TH hit revealed!

Over the weekend. LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com got its 100,000th website hit. Thanks to everyone for their continued support. Congratulations to the person who clicked on us for that milestone moment- Nick Counter from Los Angeles, California. 

When Nick is not checking out the site, he's the president of the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers and says "After negotiating long hours I was looking for a good laugh and boy did i find it. I'd have to say, I'm LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com's #1 fan. If the studios weren't losing millions every day, I would consider making this thing drag out even longer just so I can get all the snarky details the LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com gang delivers hot and fresh every day."

Thanks for the kind words Nick and keep clicking- when you're NOT at the bargaining table.

-Eric Stangel 

7:37 am est

LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM UNFAIR!
BY JOE GROSSMAN

TO: Lateshowwritersonstrike.com, Inc.
FROM: Joe Grossman, Lateshowwritersonstrike.com writer
CC: Nikki Finke
RE: Contract

Dear sirs,

For the past several weeks, I have been dutifully submitting comedic material (hereafter referred to as PRODUCT) to Lateshowwritersonstrike.com. My labor and creativity have contributed to the success of your Internetwebblog, with nearly 100,000 people checking the site to see PRODUCT created by myself and my peers.

However, I have yet to receive payment for my services, despite advertisements and product placement generating revenue from sponsors such as Mallomars, Big Sky Balloons and Searchlights, and Andrews McMeel, publisher of George W. Bush: An Unauthorized Oral History (now available for $10.36 at Amazon.com [link]). Lateshowwritersonstrike.com hasn't even offered a contract for the continued use of PRODUCT, and shows no sign of doing so.

As I'm sure you're aware, Lateshowwritersonstrike.com, Inc. (NYSE: LSWX) is one of the world's most successful distributors of low-budget videos, inflatable-rat-related essays and Richard Belzer hoagie recipes (second only to BelzRatTube.com). The latest shareholder report indicates that the company generated more than $4 billion in November alone, with expenses of $27.95 for web hosting. And according to Deadline Hollywood Daily's Nikki Finke, the company stands to earn hundreds of millions this holiday season from its "Strikey and Hannah Montana Save Hanukkah" movie and its "Grabby on Ice" show.

But what do we, the writers, receive? Nothing.

Shame on you, Lateshowwritersonstrike.com. Shame on you.
7:15 am est

Sunday, December 2, 2007

A HOLIDAY MESSAGE FROM EMILY STANGEL
8:18 pm est

MAJOR MILESTONE
By Jeremy Weiner
 
My youngest daughter turns one in just a few weeks.  She has been making sounds for a while now, but today, I'm thrilled to say, she said her first word:
 
                  RESIDUALS
 
Fellow guild members, we're clearly getting our message out there.  Way to go, everybody!


8:15 pm est

We're here to help!

Still looking for that perfect gift this holiday season? Is Brookstone out of those vibrating massage pants?

Worry no more. You can still give the gift of laughter with LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com Gift Cards!

webassets/lateshowgiftcard2.jpg

Available in $5, $25, or $100 increments, the LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com will bring a smile to everyone on your gift list.

LateShowWritersOnStrike.Com gift cards can be used as cash in your favorite stores** Pick one up today

**"favorite stores" refers to

Open MRI of New England

Pepperidge Farms Thrift Stores (Not to be used on Milano cookies) 

Participating Jack In The Box Restaurants in Alaska and Hawaii only

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM!! 

-ERIC STANGEL 

7:56 pm est

George W. Bush Joke Of The Day

BY TOM RUPRECHT

Because of the writers' strike, many of you are hungry for some political humor. I thought I'd help fill the void by giving you an excerpt from my book "George W. Bush: An Unauthorized Oral History." Here's today's joke:

I'll never forget the first time I held George after he was born. I looked into his eyes and he was so lost, so helpless. I still see that same look whenever he talks about Iraq. (Laughs) Suck on that, bitch!--
George H. W. Bush, Former President

Tom's book "George W. Bush: An Unauthorized Oral History" is available on http://www.amazon.com and other quality bookstores 

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As seen in today's New York Daily News!

12:06 pm est

WGA/AMPTP TALKS

BY JUSTIN STANGEL

The WGA and the AMPTP have been talking since Monday. Apparently nothing much happened until Thursday, when the AMPTP put a new offer on the table. Is it a good offer? Is it just a series of rollbacks? Is this all a PR move? Is this just a first step in the negotiation dance? I don't know. Time will tell.

webassets/JOE.jpg(file photo) 

This is Late Show writer Joe Grossman. He is a very nice, calm person. Wouldn't hurt a fly. I'm proud to say he is a friend of mine.

WGA/AMPTP, if this strike doesn't end soon, I'm going to beat the living shit out of him. Beat him with my hands. Beat him with a bat. Beat him with crowbar.

It's up to you WGA/AMPTP. Joe's life is in your hands.

9:52 am est

THE LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM HOLIDAY PARTY

THE LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM HOLIDAY PARTY
 
 (FORMERLY LATESHOWWRITERSONSTRIKE.COM CHRISTMAS PARTY)
 
 IS ON!!!!!
 
 OH, IT'S ON.
 
 WHEN: FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8
             3 PM - 7 PM, OR UNTIL THEY KICK US OUT
 WHERE: SONY ATRIUM, MADISON BETWEEN 54TH AND 55TH
 
 PUT AN OFFER ON THE TABLE!
 THE ONLY THING MORE DELICIOUS THAN THE FOOD YOU GENEROUSLY BRING WILL BE THE IRONY OF STRIKING WORKERS USHERING IN THE HOLIDAYS AT THE COMMERCIAL RENT AND HEATING EXPENSE OF A GIANT MEDIA CONGLOMERATE!
 
 WALK IN A COUNTER-CLOCKWISE CIRCLE AROUND THE POT LUCK SPREAD, CHANTING,
 "HEY HEY, HO HO HO" AND "NO CONTRACT, NOEL!"
 
 HAVE A PHOTO TAKEN WITH YOUR FAVORITE LATE SHOW WRITER**, OR A TOURIST FROM FINLAND.
 
 ASK UNLIMITED NAIVE QUESTIONS, LIKE: "ARE YOU GUYS TAPING A RERUN?" OR "DID YOU EVER GET AN APOLOGY FROM EARL?" OR "WHY DID I THINK YOU WERE THE SAME THING AS THE STAGEHANDS?"
 
 ENJOY THE "VIRTUAL LATE SHOW WRITER INTERN EXPERIENCE" BY MAKING A REAL-LIFE COFFEE RUN TO THE SONY ATRIUM STARBUCKS, THEN WATCHING YOUR FAVORITE WRITER PAT HIS POCKETS LIKE HE LEFT HIS WALLET AT HOME.
 
 IT'S GONNA BE LABOR-INTENSIVE!!!!!
 A SICK-OUT IS GUARANTEED AND NON-NEGOTIABLE
 
 (ALTERNATE LOCATION: PRIVATE DINING ROOM, SMILERS, 54TH AND MADISON.
 ALTERNATE ALTERNATE LOCATION: SOUTHEAST CORNER, 54TH AND MADISON) 
 
 
 ** If you want your photo with Joe Grossman, please arrive at least one hour early and do not look at him. Estimated wait times for other Late Show writers: Bob Borden, 5 minutes; Steve Young, 5 minutes; Tom Ruprecht, 4 minutes; Eric Stangel, 3 minutes; Justin Stangel, 2 minutes; Lee Ellenberg, Jeremy Weiner, Matt Roberts, 2 minutes; Strike Captain Bill Scheft, 22 seconds. 

--BILL SCHEFT 

9:41 am est

BY STEVE YOUNG
 
Some interesting statistics in the latest CNN/Reuters/CBS/Zogby/USA Today poll about the writers’ strike:
 
 --73% of Americans support the Writers Guild, while only 2% support the studios.
 
 --81% are more inclined to support the writers when the picketers march clockwise.
 
 --48% say they’ve downloaded a movie or TV episode to their computer, while 3% claim they’ve downloaded a show to their microwave oven.
 
 --55% think “residuals” are painful things that form in your kidneys.
 
 --79% believe the term “star” has been cheapened by the show “Dancing With The Stars.”
 
 --0% would like to see AMPTP president Nick Counter naked.
9:20 am est

Saturday, December 1, 2007

MILESTONE!

MILESTONE!
 
At 9:24 this evening, lateshowwritersonstrike.com received its 100,000th hit. Considering this humble website has been up less than three weeks, it is a remarkable achievement. 

But this milestone never could have been realized without the viewing public, who has relentlessly shown their support for our cause and enthusiasm for our content, and in particular, Late Show writer Bob Borden, who hit the refresh button on his computer over 47,000 times.
 
Thanks, everyone. Thanks, Bob. See you at 200,000!
 
LateShowWritersOnStrike.com


9:28 pm est

BILL SCHEFT'S STRIKE-RELATED DAVE-TYPE MONOLOGUE JOKE OF THE DAY:
Negotiators for the Writers Guild claim the most recent proposal from the AMPTP is the same as the one they received on November 4. That's all this strike needs: Another rerun.
-BILL SCHEFT

7:10 pm est

An Inspiring Message
BY STEVE YOUNG
 
As you probably know, Evel Knievel, America’s Legendary Daredevil, passed away on Friday at the age of 69.  Members of the WGA and the AMPTP alike would do well to heed Evel’s final words:
 
“Tell the writers to stay strong…while they rarely break their bones, they do entertain America…and though it may seem like the gap between the writers and the studios is as wide as the Snake River Canyon, the writers can make the jump…in a rocket-powered Skycycle fueled with unity and resolve they’ll sail high over the jagged rocks of AMPTP greed…and land safely on the far side, at a place called “Fair Contract”…stand firm, writers….goodbye and God bless…”
 
Thanks, Evel.  We’ll never forget you and your message of courage.

10:27 am est

One good thing about this strike:

BY BOB BORDEN

One good thing about this strike:

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I was FINALLY able to reach one of my life goals by eating lunch at IKEA
today.  Tomorrow I think I'm going to work on my life goals.

10:25 am est


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A message from Late Show writer Bill Scheft....

This letter originally was posted on the late show newsgroup and the late show website.



I am the union rep for the show, and felt compelled to bring you up to date on the writers strike. Our guys have been so much better represented on the picket line than all the other NY shows. I am really proud of them.


Quickly, lest you think we are a bunch of spoiled brats just looking for a raise, the big issue, money from original content shown on the Internet and other new media, is our way of replacing the money we are losing over the disappearing residuals. Residuals are not a bonus. They are the way writers live when they are between jobs. The standard writers contact is up for renewal every 13 weeks. You can have a five- year contract, but they can let you go every 13 weeks without paying you any more as long as they give you a month's notice. That is the deal we all enter into. There are 12,000 writers in the guild. You need to make $30,000 a year in guild earnings to keep your health insurance. Last year, 6000 didn't reach that figure. Half.


I have been lucky enough to have a job for 16 years. That simply does not happen. So this is what we are fighting for. Believe me, we would love to be in the office, writing fun facts, actives with Rupert, illegally doctoring footage or downloading porn, but this is the frontline fight for all the other union contracts that come after us. The late night writers are the first ones affected by a strike, and the ONLY ones who will never recoup the money we lose because we do 10 times as many new shows per year as any drama or sitcom. But we go out in support of our fellow union members and pray this thing ends soon.


One more thing. To a man, all of the writers are deeply concerned about the collateral damage if we stay out too long. We think of the 150 people who work at the Late Show whose fight this is not and believe they will be taken care of. They are all embarrassingly supportive of us. No one any more so than Dave. It is quite humbling.


Sorry to be so serious, but this is serious business. I wanted to write you people because this site has loyally and relentlessly followed the show since we came to CBS. I felt you were owed as much of an explanation as anyone outside the negotiation room can give.


Feel free to ask any questions and I will try to respond. Thanks.


Bill Scheft 

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